It’s hard to rant about anything at this joyous time of year. But if I were to have rantz in my pantz about anything, it would be the fact that some people now register for Christmas gifts – just like for a wedding! Are you kidding me!
Anyway, all that nonsense aside, I wanted to thank you for riding along with me on this new blogging adventure. And as a token of my appreciation, I tried to send a slice of my delicious Christmas tourtiere to each one of you, complete with a jar of Hubsey’s homemade peach chutney. But the shipment was stopped at the blogosphere border by the Duke of URL. He advised me that it was not an approved food item for entry into cyberspace. Sorry about that.
So all I can give you is a story. Happy Reading and Merry Christmas!
CHRISTMAS AT SQUABBLE ROCK
by Pat Skene
It was early December, with so much to do.
Mother Christmas was checking her list.
She said, “That same village comes up every year.
But somehow – it always gets missed.”
The town she referred to was known far and wide,
as the place people called, ‘Squabble Rock.’
Where hot tempers simmered and bubbled like stew,
as they bickered and fought, ‘round-the-clock.
All the people there – called ‘Squabbalonians,’
were a squabbling bunch all right.
They’d storm through the square, with their fists in the air –
always hankering for a good fight.
For some unknown reason, the Squabble Rock folks,
had forgotten the way to have fun.
And even the old ones who rocked in their chairs,
couldn’t say how it all had begun.
“This Squabble Rock town…” Mother Christmas announced,
“…needs the help of an elf volunteer.”
A young Christmas Rep called Chaboy said, “I’ll go!
I’ve been waiting to do this all year!”
Chaboy was excited and up for the task.
He was small for a project this big.
He decided to ask for some experts to come,
and help out with his Squabble Rock gig.
So he started an e-list of Presidents’ names,
a Grand Emperor and a few Czars.
He added some Generals with curly moustaches.
Their jackets had ribbons and stars!
Chaboy then included three Kings and a Queen,
and a foreign Prime Minister too.
His royal list was long, but not nearly complete.
So he added a Princess or two.
He sent them an email marked URGENT – READ NOW!
NEED HELP WITH THIS SQUABBLE ROCK TOWN.
The leaders received it and stopped in their tracks,
when they read what he had written down:
An Emergency Christmas Brigade, (it began)
is most urgently needed post-haste.
The spirit of Christmas is lost in this town,
(map attached) and there’s no time to waste.
I’m looking for help to bring peace and goodwill.
All they do now is argue and squawk.
Please meet me there Christmas Eve day, if you can.
Signed…Chaboy, Christmas Rep, Squabble Rock.
On Christmas Eve morning, Chaboy came to town.
He was wearing his elf-helper’s hat.
The Emergency Christmas Brigade might arrive,
and he wanted to look good for that.
He was rather festive in red and green tights.
Squabbalonians gathered and gawked.
His Christmas coat dangled with musical notes.
And he hummed Jingle Bells as he walked.
The kids all came running from here and from there.
They hollered, “Who’s he?” as they ran.
But someone pushed someone, and someone fell down.
So the usual squabbling began.
Chaboy tapped his cane, all painted in stripes.
He tossed it high into the air.
The children stopped fighting. They looked up in shock.
Giant Christmas trees lit up the square!
Now all the kids wiggled and tried not to giggle.
It really was something to see.
Chaboy waved his cane, and then tapped it again,
“Merry Christmas” he called out with glee.
He gave the kids banjos, snare drums and a flute.
He handed out twangy guitars.
Chaboy gave them fiddles and shiny brass horns,
and said, “Let’s rock n’ roll a few bars.”
What toe-tapping music! What laughter! What fun!
What a Ra-Ta-Ta-Christmas parade!
The kids marched and played, to The Jungle Bell Rock.
What a wonderful sound they all made.
But now the whole town came out running to see,
what the music and noise was about.
And as Squabbalonians gathered around,
well…of course, they all started to shout.
“That drum is too loud!” “The flute is too high!”
“And the horn is too deep,” people said.
“Those banjos and fiddles are playing too fast!”
“Oh! What a pain in my head!”
Amidst the confusion, they all heard a sound.
It silenced this rowdy affair.
Chaboy’s voice took flight, as he sang Silent Night.
Like an echo, it danced in the air.
Then slowly the children began to join in.
They sang with such peaceful delight.
The townspeople stared. They were shocked. Some were scared.
But at least no one started to fight.
Then just at that moment, they heard a TA-DA!
The Emergency Christmas Brigade!
“Our guests have arrived,” said Chaboy to the kids.
What a grand royal entrance they made.
They got there so quickly from east and from west.
Some travelled by air and by sea.
These leaders from countries all over the world,
came to help with Chaboy’s email plea.
They marched into town like a fancy parade.
Oh, they made such a dashing display.
The Squabble Rock Mayor used a loud-speaker horn,
“Squabbalonians! Please clear the way!”
Chaboy tapped his cane, like an orchestra leader,
and signaled the kids to begin.
A chorus of children sang, Joy to the World,
as they welcomed the visitors in.
“This must be a joke,” barked out one of the Generals.
“The email said Urgent! Post-haste!
And now we hear singing of peace, love and joy?
Well, clearly this trip was a waste!”
“It must be that young boy-Chaboy,” the Queen said.
“Did you see the strange shape of his ears?
And how did he stop all that squabbling they do?
Squabble Rock has been fighting for years!”
They pinched up their faces while children held hands.
They watched as kids sang and had fun.
And silently leaders from all ‘round the world,
wondered what this Chaboy-boy had done.
By now some royal experts were wrinkling their noses,
like something had started to smell.
They said to each other, “What gobbledygook!”
“It must be that boy’s secret spell.”
Then right at that moment, each had the same thought.
Yes, the very same wicked design.
(If I bring Chaboy and his songs home with me –
only then will his secret be mine.)
“Well I think Chaboy should come live in my land,”
the grand Emperor started to shout.
Then someone pushed someone and someone fell down.
And quite a royal scuffle broke out.
Squabbalonians watched them – all shaking their heads.
“Will you look how these leaders behave?”
And then they remembered the grudges they held.
How they fought and never forgave.
They stood there in silence…Chaboy tapped his cane.
He said, “Now it’s time you begin.
The spirit of Christmas will come to your heart,
if you’re quiet and let it come in.
They all sang a chorus of ‘Come All Ye Faithful’
and wore their new joy like a crown.
Folks knew as they listened, and falling snow glistened,
that Christmas had come to their town.
Then sheepishly, two of the Kings and a Queen,
started strumming the children’s guitars.
The Emergency Christmas Brigade all shook hands –
including the Generals with stars.
They forgot all their differences, squabbles and squawks.
It was more fun to sing than to fight.
With each Christmas carol, they filled up with joy,
and together sang, O Holy Night.
“Hip-hip-hip-hooray,” cried the kids on that day.
And then everyone joined in a cheer.
They wondered if this Christmas feeling might stay,
if they sang more – together, all year.
“Squabbalonians,” called out the Mayor of the town,
“Now our Squabble Rock sign must come down.”
He said, “I declare, by my long underwear,
we will find a new name for our town.”
So now it was time for Chaboy to depart.
Mother Christmas would worry, he thought.
And as he was leaving, they gathered around him.
They kissed him and hugged him a lot.
Chaboy said good-bye and he giggled inside.
It had been quite a day for a boy.
Then he waved at the crowd and he graciously bowed,
as they sang out their joy to Chaboy.