You Better Watch Out!

Greetings all – it’s been some time,
Since I ranted out a rhyme,                                          
But I am totally perplexed,
And don’t know what I should do next!            

Listen up! Do companies still give out golden watches with their golden handshakes at retirement parties? I sure hope not! It’s a sure-fire way to lead any unsuspecting senior down the path of financial ruin. Okay, perhaps I’m exaggerating just a smidgen,  but I hope that got your attention.

Here’s my story:
Two months ago, I brought my Tag Heuer watch into Birks for a new battery. And here I sit, still without my watch! The repair department tells me that Tag suggests a complete maintenance overall every 3-5 years, at a cost of over $500 each time. What? And Birks tells me that all high-end watch companies have the same requirement! What? I’ve had the watch for 20 years and I’ve never been told this piece of disturbing news.   I declined and said I had the watch fully reconditioned 18 months ago due to a swimming accident (at a cost of $620), and now I simply wanted a new battery. They would not be happy, I was told, and the watch may not work. What?  It worked when I sent it in! It just needed a new battery to bring it back to life.

Then what happened?
Since then and many phone calls later, I am still watchless in Oakville.  The poor frazzled employee in Birks’ customer repair department tells me they will no longer use the supplier where they sent my watch because of a barrage of customer complaints. Plus the company doesn’t answer their phones! What? For all I know, my watch could be hanging from the inside lining of some trench coat in a dark alley by now. 

Caveat Emptor! 
Whatever happened to quality workmanship and well crafted watches that last forever? Or is that the crux of the issue? Perhaps these watches are so well made that watchmaking companies need a new stream of income to keep their customers hooked and coming back with their wallets open. Would anyone knowingly buy a watch that needed reconditioning every 3-5 years at a cost of $500 or more? Does that even make sense to the average watch-wearer of today? Or are these expensive watches so poorly made that they need constant attention to keep them going? Either way, the customer loses.

Even Mickey is stressed out:
Without my beloved Tag, I’ve resorted to wearing a Mickey Mouse watch Hubsey bought me over 30 years ago. Mickey tells me the time with his white-gloved hands, moving around the watch face like a demented traffic cop with substance abuse issues. The problem is, Mickey’s been stuffed in a closet for so long, outing him so abruptly has affected his performance. He doesn’t keep time very well, plus I need a magnifying glass to see the hand signals he’s giving me. So our renewed relationship isn’t working out.

Bottom Line: I simply want my watch back!  Guess I’ll give Birks another call. Any suggestions?

So that’s my tale, it’s sad but true,
Now what’s a blogger-girl to do?
Perhaps I’ll kick it up a notch,
Next time I swear I’ll buy a Swatch!

Pat Skene

See you between the lines.