What Trump Can Teach Our Children

“The point is, you can never be too greedy.”

“My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body.”

“Women, you have to treat them like shit.”

Yes, The Donald really said those things.

I am probably the least political person I know. But even as a Canadian, I can’t help but get caught up in the Trump madness of the US elections. If this was a movie, we would all be unable to suspend our disbelief that such batshit crazy things could be said and done, by a person running for the highest office in the land.

Trumpkins take notes! However, as in most things, there are learnings to be had –  if you examine the stinking piles of turds left behind by the biggest and loudest raging bull out there in the field of dreams. So gather your little trumpkins  around, and let’s talk about what Mr. Trump can teach our children. Forget your family values and pay attention.

Teachers listen up! You may want to incorporate these behaviours into your school policies. Perhaps the education system has been wrong all along. Could it be that your entire code of ethics has been nothing more than an attempt to teach our children mutual respect and common decency?

Top 10 Tips From The Trump School for Kids

1. Give other students nasty nicknames and belittle them at every opportunity, to make you feel important.
2. Disrespect the girls in your class by calling them fat pigs, dogs and disgusting animals.
3. If someone doesn’t agree with you, ask one of your friends to punch them in the face.
4. Tell your teachers to build walls in the school yard, to separate the undesirable kids who are different from you.
5. Report anyone who disagrees with you to the principal, and have the loudmouth expelled, while you scream, “Get’em outta here!”
6. When you lose at something, never take responsibility. Always blame the other guy for cheating you out of your win.
7. When you’re at a school sports competition, get some fist fights going between the teams to stir things up.
8. Accuse others of lying as often as you can, but tell the biggest whoppers of the bunch and never back down or tell the truth.
9. When you’re writing an essay for school, don’t bother checking your facts. Just write whatever comes into your head.
10. Be vindictive toward any student or teacher who speaks out against you, and pledge to make their lives a living hell.

Final word: So there you have it – a roadmap for your little Trumpkins on how to become a successful loud-mouthed, egotistical bully just like Donald Trump. They may even end up on national television one day…bragging about the size of their manhood during a political debate. But then again…does anyone really care?

I do..I really, really do!

God bless us every one, and may God forgive America!

See you between the lines and on Twitter @PatSkene

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