Okay, let’s not sugar coat this – getting old is a bitch! There’s no instruction manual to read or special training we can take along the way. The scary world of aging is filled with shocks and surprises around every wrinkled corner. And you know what shock does to aging boomers? It makes our hair whiter, our poop tighter and our pacemakers pound out the beat to Jerry Lee Lewis’s Great Balls of Fire.
Mirror, mirror is that me?
Personally, I thought I would always be thirty-two because that’s how I feel on the inside. And in my dreams, I’m always thirty-two. Then one day…WHAM! Mother time kicked me in my assets and announced my coming of age into the crusty rusty years. I looked into the mirror this morning and found a seventy-three year-old grandmother with an aching hip, a double mastectomy under her belt, a few corporate battle scars in her wake and a closet full of comfortable shoes.
Putting one foot in front of the other
I once read that certain species of sharks have to keep swimming forward to keep oxygen-rich water flowing through their gills. This seems like a good rule to follow as a metaphor in human life as well. Standing still or hanging on to what we once had can be suffocating. When I stagnate and marinate in my own juices for too long, I feel sad, lonely and old; very, very old. So I make like a shark and try to keep moving, regardless of my growing list of limitations.
From fashion to constipation
Now here I am, in the dawn of my twilight years, surrounded by a gaggle of gently used human beings. I live in a condo full of seniors, I sit next to the senior-set at the doctor’s office, my friends are getting more aches and pains everyday and my dentist is as old as I am. Even my much younger sister is fast approaching in my rearview mirror. We used to giggle and talk about boys, designer shoes, stressful careers, bringing up kids and vacations. And while we still giggle over a glass or two of soda water instead of chardonnay (wine gives us heart palpitations), now we talk about which stores have the best scooters, hip and knee replacements, grandkids and constipation.
Large and in charge
It’s way too easy to become marginalized as we age and have our voices drowned out by the ubiquitous chatter in the world around us. It’s important for my happiness and wellbeing to stay relevant and be heard. So a big part of each life-breath I take, is the ranting and raving I do about how I see the world around me in all its glory and carbuncles. I write my boomerrantz blog, I address incompetence at businesses I deal with, and I don’t hesitate to challenge those in charge, by asking questions and advocating for myself at every opportunity.
Flushing it out
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not the kind of cranky old senior who always feels perpetually aggrieved. On the contrary, I’m actually an unusually happy septuagenarian and my half of the glass is always the top half. But the act of ranting about things I find unjust or unfair is like a good liver cleanse; it helps to flush out the clogged arteries of my cranky zones and restore a sense of balance to my life. Sometimes the rants in my pants simply need a good airing out, and blogging about my aging boomer opinions seems to do the trick.
Balancing the scales
But it’s not all about the dark side of sixty that has me blogging my bony fingers to the nub today. I love to do my share of raving as well. There are still many joys in this world and I’m at the front of the line to appreciate the good things in life; as simple as a morning smile, or the tip of the brim from a stranger. And I am first in line to compliment anyone who gives me exceptional service in any capacity.
Our point of view matters
But here’s something about many older women. We love to worry about wrinkles and waistlines, instead of celebrating our cellulite and the wisdom of our years. We worry about that dreadful whisker that popped out on our chin overnight, instead of taking comfort in the freedom that comes with getting older. We worry about our white hair and thinning locks, instead of enjoying that second cup of coffee in the morning, happy that we no longer have to strap ourselves into a pair of pantyhose to go to work. And we wear far too much beige and black and never enough electric blue, fire-engine red and emerald-green.
One more thing…
For those of you who love to write and have never tried it, blogging is a wonderful way to stay connected with a talented online community and get our voices heard. It’s a way to organize our thoughts and tap into the things that really matter to us. It’s a way to simply have fun and entertain our friends and family with our stories.
The way I see it – blogging is like opening a steam vent on a pressure cooker of unspoken words.
Thanks for reading and I’ll see you between the lines.
So true Pat in so many ways. See you tomorrow at the movies! Gail
Thanks Gail. Yes, I’m looking forward to it.
Pat, these rants of yours are actually (g)rants of humour and wisdom from you to us. Please don’t turn off the spigot any time soon.
I appreciate your comments Brad. Thanks for reading.
Absolutely, right on Pat. You are amazing. Keep up the good work. Special lady. ❤️❤️
Thanks for the encouragement my friend.
You are doing this on our behalf…and we love it! I’m not given to ranting on a regular basis, but I’ve done my share in my blog. Keep at it, Girl!
Thanks for the encouragement and for reading my post. We ranters have to stick together.
I hear ya sista! Right on on all counts!
Many blessings in my life, but oh those chin hairs that pop up overnight are SOOOO annoying!
Sorry Britt Girl, I replied days ago and it didn’t show up. Yes, those chin hairs are the worse. But then again, what about the hair on your toes? 🤣
You don’t sound old to me.
Thanks Rumple…I’m really a 32 year old trapped in the body of a septuagenarian.
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What a terrific rant. Did you dip into my brain? I’m specially interested in your last point, about the benefits of blogging, and am psyching myself up to write about it this very day.
Hi Rachel. Thanks for reading my post. I see from your blog page that you are embarking on writing a memoir. I finally started mine this year after thinking about it for 2 years. Good luck with it. I found it difficult to get the momentum going.
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Mine is poems: easy!!
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