Help! I Want My Life Back!

Etched in My Brain

I remember the day in 1953 when we got electricity in our town.

I remember the day in 1963 when President Kennedy was shot.

I remember the day in 2015 when I became obsessed with Donald J. Trump.

It was June 16^th when he rode that escalator like a vainglorious king, declaring his candidacy for president and announcing that Mexicans were thieves and rapists.

“How long can this guy last?” I laughed. “It should be fun to watch this asshole crash and burn.” And so my CNN addiction began.

Trump News Junky
Now 2 years later and 190 days into his presidency, I long for the days when I only watched TV in the evening hours; for the days when I spent my time with non-Trumpish things, like reading novels and writing children’s books. Instead I watch cable news and scour the online pages of the New York Times, the Washington Post, Politico, The Daily Beast, The New Yorker and the Wall Street Journal for the latest POTUS wrecking ball disasters.

Life was simple before all this frightening nonsense and I wonder if things will ever be the same again. As the alt-right seem to take over the partisan brains of America, I can only hope this is not the new normal.

One Angry Creamsicle
After working 35 years in corporate life, I can’t even imagine treating people like this vulgarian. How can any company survive by encouraging infighting between competing power centres, or by publicly humiliating employees and colleagues? Staffers for Trump are disposable and discarded once they no longer serve his purpose. And he’s a coward. Despite his image, he would rather humiliate someone out of their position rather simply say, ‘You’re fired!”

Plugged In 24/7
Occasionally when I pry myself loose from CNN or MSNBC to venture out to attend to my life, I constantly check my phone for the latest Breaking News flashes and tweet-storms from the bully-in-chief. I’m not proud of it, but I can’t seem to stop.

This Mein Trumpf administration is like a freight train filled with explosives, heading straight for American democracy. Yet there are still many who support him and his vengeful obsession of annihilating all things Obama, destruction of the environment and everything else in life that’s decent and good.

Conspiring Conspiracies
As Team Trump stands firm, I wonder if a mind-altering chip has been inserted into their cell phones – like in the ‘Kingsman” movie. Or has some malevolent drug been drip-drip-dripping into the US water supply? Right now I would believe anything after witnessing the surreal sideshow of this vile Trump Administration.

Vipers and Wiseguys
And just when you dare to think it can’t get any worse, “Tony the Mooch,” gets added to the White House cast of liars and ass-kissers; a character right out of the Sopranos. And while they all slither and hiss like a pit of vipers, vying for his attention – Prima Donald sits on his golden throne tweeting and eclipsing his own agenda. (Update after this post was published…the Trump tribe has spoken and the Mooch is out after only 10 days on the job!)

So What’s Next?
Everyday, this episodic Republican reality show is filled with backstabbing paranoia, attacks on basic values and more proof of dangerous Russian connections. Everyday, I hope this horror show will stop. And everyday, I’m disappointed that once again, I’ve wasted yet another day of my life hoping and praying that the dark hidden secrets of Donald J. Trump will hit the airwaves and catapult him into a jail-cell.

Final Word:
It’s all so mesmerizing and nuclear grade bonkers, I simply can’t walk away until the story ends. Even as I finish this post, Trump continues to humiliate and diminish everyone in his orbit. Yesterday Benedict Donald announced the firing of his Chief of Staff…on Twitter!

Buddha said, “Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon and the truth.” Let’s just hope this ancient sage knew what he was talking about.

In the meantime, how do I disconnect and get my life back?

See you between the lines.

Pat Skene

 

 

 

A Trumped-Up Tale

As a storyteller, I love a good allegory. And when I recently heard a poem called “The Snake,” well you can just guess who came to mind. I wondered how many American voters were reading this story to their children and grandchildren.

It’s a tale based on Aesop’s Fables and has been told in various forms for over 2500 years. These lyrics were written in 1963 by singer/songwriter and social activist, Oscar Brown Jr.

This is an excerpt from Brown’s version:

 

The Snake

On her way to work one morning,
Down the path along side the lake,
A tenderhearted woman saw a poor half frozen snake.
His pretty colored skin had been all frosted with the dew.
“Poor thing,” she cried, “I’ll take you in and I’ll take care of you.”

“Take me in tender woman.
Take me in, for heaven’s sake.
Take me in, tender woman,” sighed the snake.

She wrapped him up all cozy in a comforter of silk,
And laid him by her fireside with some honey and some milk.
She hurried home from work that night and soon as she arrived,
She found that pretty snake she’d taken to had been revived.

She clutched him to her bosom, “You’re so beautiful, ” she cried.
“But if I hadn’t brought you in by now you might have died.
“She stroked his pretty skin again and kissed and held him tight.
Instead of saying thanks, the snake gave her a vicious bite.

“I saved you, ” cried the woman.
“And you’ve bitten me, but why?
You know your bite is poisonous and now I’m going to die.”
“Oh shut up, silly woman, ” said the reptile with a grin.
“You knew damn well I was a snake before you took me in.”

Juxtapositions: So of course when I read this poignant poem, I thought of the poisonous orange snake with a comb-over conning Americans to take him into the White House. But when I did a bit of research on the poem, I was shocked to see that The Donald himself had been using the poem earlier this year at his rallies! He would recite the poem and then grin and ask the audience, “Right? Does everyone sort of get it?”

OMG! While I immediately envisioned Trump as the venomous snake, I was horrified to learn he was using the allegory to represent terrorism and refugees were the snake! Oscar Brown passed away in 2005, but his family demanded that Trump cease and desist using these lyrics in his rallies. The family said that if Brown were still alive, he would be on the “polar opposite side” of Trump.

Snake oil salesman: So there most certainly IS a deadly viper in this election, conning voters to trust him and saying what they want to hear…which changes with his audience du jour. While many Trump voters are politically and selfishly motivated, there are millions of others who are voting for him out of a blind rage over their diminished lives and see this as a chance to get back at those they see as responsible. These poor misguided Trumpsters and Trumpettes see this damaged man as their savior-in-chief. Some actually compare him to Jesus! What’s up with that? I think there must be a toxic Kool-Aid substance being filtered into the US water supply! The other day, I read that voting for Trump is like a chicken voting for Colonel Sanders!

Caveat Emptor: Among a litany of other things, Trump thinks Hillary doesn’t have the stamina (aka penis) to be president. But if I were living in the US, I would be running as fast as I can toward the only sane candidate in this race. By the way, you know Mr. Deplorable doesn’t really WANT to be president. He just wants to be able to SAY he is president.

So, my American friends, if by some horrifying twist of fate, President Donald gets to slither into the oval office and bites you in your pathetic regrets – remember, you knew damn well he was a snake, before you took him in.

Right? Does everyone sort of get it? Donald Trump sure doesn’t!

 

See you between the lines and on Twitter @PatSkene

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Good Lord America – What Are You Thinking?

An Open Letter to Donald Trump Supporters from a Canadian

As your Canadian neighbour, we’ve been friends for a long time. We haven’t always agreed, but most of the time we’ve respected and accepted each other’s differences…more or less. Our beer is still better than yours and we have poutine.

But now you’ve really got me baffled and I’m doing my best to appreciate your point of view on this whole Donald Trump thing.

Mi casa su casa:
Now you could say it’s none of my business because I live in Canada. And you might be right except for the fact that we share a border and (I thought) many of the same values. Plus as my neighbour, if you blow up the barbecue in your backyard, you can be sure it will set off a firestorm of shrapnel into my yard as well.

Trump: “I love the poorly educated.”
I’m really struggling to understand how you can allow a narcissistic man like Trump to live rent free in your brain.  Don’t you know that he’s manipulating you through fear and empty promises? I know The Donald has admitted he doesn’t like to read, but PLEASE do yourself a favour and read about his background, his lawsuits, his bankruptcies, his bigotry, how he has treated women and the miles of destruction (and people) he has left in his wake. And if you say to this that you don’t care…why don’t you care? What’s wrong with you?

I know that both candidates have their baggage. But when you compare the backgrounds and selfless work one candidate has done for decades, to the selfish work of the other, surely you have to feel ashamed when you look into the mirror. And really, what terrible things has Hillary actually done? Why is she disliked by so many Americans? Hillary Clinton is the devil? Seriously?

Covert operations:
The media isn’t talking about this, but I think there is still a strong gender bias for the POTUS position and many males of all ages still cannot accept that a woman could run the country. It’s been a man’s world since forever and all that testosterone just can’t handle being told what to do by a mere female. Is this why so many of you men out there will take anyone, even the likes of the Trumpster, rather than choosing to support a very competent woman? Shame on every one of you.

Or maybe you’re simply supporting Trump because you’re pissed with the establishment and want to teach those Washington bureaucrats a lesson? Okay, you’ve made your point but it’s time to let go. Giving the reins to a madman won’t help your cause and will only ensure that you will be treated exactly like the many people who have been shafted by this charlatan.

Bizarre realities:
Look – I know that my simple little blog post isn’t going to make any difference. But I can’t stand by and do nothing. I rather like being your neighbour and consider us friends. And so I’m truly trying to understand your motives in wanting to put a demagogue and his Stepford wife into the White House. And by the way…where the heck is perfect wife number 3 these days? Certainly not beside The Donald. Her website was taken down this week after it was discovered the FLOTUS hopeful was also a liar about her educational credentials, in addition to being a plagiarist. And then her nude photos hit the newsstands! Oh dear…

The ultimate reality show:
Okay, I understand Trump boosts television ratings and gets way more air time than he deserves. So are you watching him on TV and attending his rallies out of a macabre sense of curiosity, because you know he’ll say something outrageous? Maybe you’re not really going to vote for him and all you want is to be able to tell your friends that you were there when he said that. And let’s face it – the man does aim to please the masses. It’s like watching a Jerry Springer Show unhinged!

Trump: “I could shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose any voters.”
It could be that you like seeing a crass politician saying outrageous things and calling people demeaning names that you wouldn’t allow your child to repeat in the schoolyard. Or perhaps you’re a Trump groupie who loves his celebrity status and can’t get enough of that orange comb-over and his tiny little Twitter fingers. Or just maybe, deep down you really are a mean-spirited bigot and misogynist who is using Trump as a means to validate the darkest corners of your soul. Am I hitting a nerve here?

Whatever your motives, it’s time to dig deep and think about what you’re doing. If Trump wins and the world becomes a divisive, angry, dark place because of your vote – what will you tell your children? How will you feel when they behave just like the new President of the United States? Will you be proud, or will you be terribly terribly ashamed that you helped to make this part of history happen?

Final word:
So don’t you think it’s time to turn back and rethink your motives? Please, for the love of everything you want for the future of your country – disconnect yourselves from Trumpmania NOW and run as fast as you can away from this egotistical monster of a thousand faces. And to all you senior Republican leaders who have held your noses and endorsed Donald Trump – shame on all of you for mutely standing by and allowing the devil into your house.

And one more thing. If you really do end up voting for that big-mouthed racist bully and he becomes President – we don’t want you here in Canada when you see for yourself that his promises were just a big stinking smokescreen…like his grand entrance at the RNC. You can stay right where you are and boil in your own Trump-infested juices!

Yours sincerely,
Pat Skene,
Your Canadian Neighbour

P.S. To find out more about how Donald Trump is manipulating the masses, click on this excellent article.
Neuroscientist Explains the Donald Trump Effect

 

 

What Trump Can Teach Our Children

“The point is, you can never be too greedy.”

“My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body.”

“Women, you have to treat them like shit.”

Yes, The Donald really said those things.

I am probably the least political person I know. But even as a Canadian, I can’t help but get caught up in the Trump madness of the US elections. If this was a movie, we would all be unable to suspend our disbelief that such batshit crazy things could be said and done, by a person running for the highest office in the land.

Trumpkins take notes! However, as in most things, there are learnings to be had –  if you examine the stinking piles of turds left behind by the biggest and loudest raging bull out there in the field of dreams. So gather your little trumpkins  around, and let’s talk about what Mr. Trump can teach our children. Forget your family values and pay attention.

Teachers listen up! You may want to incorporate these behaviours into your school policies. Perhaps the education system has been wrong all along. Could it be that your entire code of ethics has been nothing more than an attempt to teach our children mutual respect and common decency?

Top 10 Tips From The Trump School for Kids

1. Give other students nasty nicknames and belittle them at every opportunity, to make you feel important.
2. Disrespect the girls in your class by calling them fat pigs, dogs and disgusting animals.
3. If someone doesn’t agree with you, ask one of your friends to punch them in the face.
4. Tell your teachers to build walls in the school yard, to separate the undesirable kids who are different from you.
5. Report anyone who disagrees with you to the principal, and have the loudmouth expelled, while you scream, “Get’em outta here!”
6. When you lose at something, never take responsibility. Always blame the other guy for cheating you out of your win.
7. When you’re at a school sports competition, get some fist fights going between the teams to stir things up.
8. Accuse others of lying as often as you can, but tell the biggest whoppers of the bunch and never back down or tell the truth.
9. When you’re writing an essay for school, don’t bother checking your facts. Just write whatever comes into your head.
10. Be vindictive toward any student or teacher who speaks out against you, and pledge to make their lives a living hell.

Final word: So there you have it – a roadmap for your little Trumpkins on how to become a successful loud-mouthed, egotistical bully just like Donald Trump. They may even end up on national television one day…bragging about the size of their manhood during a political debate. But then again…does anyone really care?

I do..I really, really do!

God bless us every one, and may God forgive America!

See you between the lines and on Twitter @PatSkene

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